hey all. I had an ok day 2day. Stayed after school 4 AWHILE then went home. Then Sam and Francis came over and we hung out. That was cool. Heh all of my OLD thoughts are RE-surficing. Like about how i feel about people and all that crap. Heh i dunno. I said to myself i wouldnt DWELL on shit anymore... but i always seem to at least THINK of wat i could have had. If i acted differently with shit. And of course also wat i WOULDNT have if i acted differently. I dunno. Too much crap. Too many WAT "ifs". Its funny... i bet all of u out there a million dollars that if u were to go and ask everyone wat their REAL problem in their life was...they'd probably say something dealing with RELATIONSHIPS. Weather that be FREINDSHIP or a ROMANTIC relationship. Why do people long to BE with somebody so badly? Why do 'I' long to be with somebody? haha but unlike OTHER people..its not SOMEBODY. heh...all the 2/3 (i wont be specific..otherwise..that would ruin it! haha) girls im into are totally perfect in my eyes. Flawless in their beautiful features and amazing in their personality. I mean its one thing to say a girl is good looking..and its another to say she is cool. But dang ... wat if a girl is beautiful and juss seems so PERFECT? Heh the sad thing is... that they all fall 4 some JACK ASS of a guy. Its funny... they know it...and i know it.. im willing to give ANYTHING (i really mean that) to them.. but instead they run to someone who will do nothing but break their heart. Im not saying that im THE BEST "man" 4 them. Dont get me wrong. Im juss saying that...if they are willing to WASTE time with an ASSHOLE that wont treat them right... then why not WASTE a lil time with a loser like me. I would do all i could 4 them... to make them happy. HELL i freakin do that now even though im NOT "with" them. Sad thing is...they are all so out of reach. Heh... watever happen to "telling people how u feel". Heh samantha u got me there though.. i understand u about the whole trust thing now totally. Sayin just a few words can change a relationship between people. I HATE THAT. I always thought it would be SMART..or THE RIGHT THING TO DO..by tellin a person how u REALLY felt about them. Cuz hell honesty is EVERYTHING. But "the truth hurts". I had to find that out the long hard way. Heh...dammit... another mistake. Well like i once heard, i have to look FORWARD. Cuz we are all constantly walking forward weather u beleive that or not. But if ur looking back while walking forward...soon or later ur gonna run into something... and thats gonna suck. heh guess all i can say really to myself is.....tread carefully.
posted by Philip at 12:10 AM